How to Lose a Best Friend in 10 Seconds.



The late afternoon sun poured a soft golden glow over the quiet road as Ryan and Lila sauntered down the cracked sidewalk, their steps in sync like a pair of troublemakers on the loose, and the air buzzed with the promise of a carefree walk.

But calm and Lila? Those two didn’t even share a zip code.

Without warning, she launched herself onto Ryan’s back like a gremlin with a sugar high, her arms looping around his neck in a gleeful ambush.

“Gotcha!” she crowed, her voice a burst of pure, unfiltered mischief.

Ryan lurched forward, his knees buckling as he teetered perilously close to a gaping pothole that looked ready to swallow him whole.

“Lila! What the_? Are you trying to send me to an early grave?” he yelped, flailing to regain his balance while her laughter rang in his ears like a victory bell.

He howled, shaking his arm with theatrical flair. “That’s it, I’m calling the zoo. They’ve got a cage with your name on it!”

Lila slid off his back, collapsing into a fit of giggles so fierce she nearly faceplanted on the sidewalk. “Oh, please, Ryan,” she gasped, clutching her sides. “If I’m zoo material, you'd be my keeper. You’re halfway there scowling at the world with those grumpy old-man expressions of yours.”

They carried on like two children set free from school, shoving each other, trading jabs, and cackling like lunatics. Their laughter bounced off the quiet street, wild and free, until they finally flopped onto a rickety roadside bench, panting and grinning like they’d just run a marathon of pure chaos.

The world felt like theirs alone, a playground for their ridiculous antics.

Then came their favorite pastime: roasting strangers with the precision of stand-up comedians. Lila leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, eyes glinting with wicked delight.

“Ryan,” Lila whispered, leaning close, “did you see that woman who just passed? Her face is so stretched you’d think the wind was holding it up. Botox must’ve worked overtime on that masterpiece.”

Ryan snorted, nearly choking on his own laugh, his hand flying to his mouth to keep from spraying the sidewalk.

“Lila, you’re awful!” he wheezed, but his shoulders shook with laughter, the sound echoing down the empty street like a rogue firecracker.

Not to be outdone, Ryan spotted his target, a guy with legs so bowed they could’ve starred in a geometry textbook.

He leaned toward Lila, his grin downright diabolical. “Yo, why do people with bowlegs always look like they’re arguing with the letter O. Like_ ‘O, get out of my way O, I’m walking here!’”

Lila’s laugh exploded like a popped balloon, so loud she nearly toppled off the bench, clutching Ryan’s arm to stay upright. “Stop! Oh my God, stop!” she gasped, tears streaming down her face. “I can’t breathe, you idiot!”

They howled until their ribs ached, slinging snarky comments and inside jokes that would’ve left anyone else scratching their heads. It was their secret language, a tapestry of silliness woven from years of friendship, each barb and giggle a thread binding them closer.

They laughed until their sides ached, trading snide little comments and inside jokes that no one else would ever understand.

But then, just as Lila wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, her smile froze. Her gaze shifted across the street.

A sleek black car had just pulled over, its engine humming low. The door opened, and out stepped a man.

Her laughter died instantly.

Ryan noticed her change in expression. “What? Don’t tell me you just saw another bad pair of jeans_”

But when he followed her eyes, his own grin faded.

Because the man wasn’t just anyone.

He was that guy. The one he caught Lila staring at the other day, he was that stupid neighbor, that Lila thought was handsome.

Lila’s jaw went slack. She blinked twice, then leaned forward on the bench as if her eyes were faulty lenses needing a better angle.

“Oh. My. Gosh,” she whispered, clutching Ryan’s arm.

“What now?” Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes, he already understood that looks. “That man,” she hissed, pointing discreetly, though her “discreet” was so obvious it looked like she was guiding a plane to land. “Do you see him? That’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in real life. He looks like he walked straight out of a K-drama.”

Ryan squinted. “Him? He’s just a guy getting out of a car.”

“Just a guy?” Lila gasped as though he had insulted royalty. “Ryan, open your eyes! Look at his jawline. Look at his hair. That’s not just a guy, that’s, a Greek god wearing human skin!”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “A Greek god? Please. He probably has athlete’s foot, besides he is not that handsome. Look at me for instance, compare to that guy, I don't even know what you see in him”

Lila rolled her eyes, ignoring him completely, tugging at his sleeve. “You have to help me talk to him.”

Ryan jerked back. “Excuse me? No! Absolutely not. I’m not your wingman.”

“Yes, you are, and don't you dare try to say no, remember what you made me do, the other day, and especially how you made your girlfriend eat my food” she interjected, “Help me Ryan...” She said with a pout, shaking him with both hands. “Ryan, you’re my best friend. You’ve got to do this for me. Think about it, he could be my soulmate! My future husband! My children’s father!”

“Children?!” Ryan sputtered. “You don’t even know his last name!”

“I will once you introduce me,” she said sweetly, batting her lashes.

Ryan groaned like a man carrying the weight of the world. “You’re impossible, Lila.”

“Please, Ryan,” she begged, clasping her hands together in prayer position. “I’ll stop biting you. I’ll even cook dinner for a whole week. Come on, pleeeaaseee.”

He stared at her for a long second, sighed dramatically, and stood up. “Fine. But only on one condition” He said seriously.

“What?” Lila said guardedly

“You owe me a kiss when we get home.”

“Kiss?” Then she rolled her eyes. “Kiss? What happened with your numerous girlfriends? Are you lacking affection right now?" She asked with her arms folded.

“No, I just felt like kissing my fake bride” he said with a wink, and Lila puffed her cheek angrily. “Call me fake again and I will punch you on the nose”

“Fine, you are not fake okay. Then I assume it isn't wrong to kiss my real bride I suppose.”

“I am not your bride... fine you win, I'll give you what you whatever you want, just go already”

“Not only that, you also owe me chips. The expensive ones, not the cheap brand that tastes like cardboard.”

Lila squealed, bouncing on the bench like a kid on Christmas morning. " I agree okay".

Ryan marched toward the man, muttering under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. If this ends with me embarrassing myself, I’m moving to another city.”

The man looked up as Ryan approached, and to Ryan’s annoyance, he was indeed ridiculously handsome. His smile was calm, almost shy, and he had that quiet confidence that made people look twice.

“Hey,” Ryan greeted, trying to sound casual. “Name’s Ryan. That overexcited girl giggling on the bench is my little sister”

“I am not your sister!” Lila shouted from behind, waving her arms.

Ryan ignored her. “Anyway, she... uh... thinks you’re cool. Really cool. Like, annoyingly cool. So maybe you should, say hi or something.”

The man’s lips curved into a smile. “I’m Eugene. Eugene Wall.” His gaze shifted past Ryan to Lila, who immediately tried to sit still and look elegant... but ended up choking on her own saliva.

“She likes me?” Eugene asked, amused.

Ryan crossed his arms. “Apparently. Don’t ask me why.”

Eugene chuckled, his eyes still locked on Lila. “Funny thing is, I’ve been seeing her around for a while now. Always with you. I thought she was your girlfriend, so...” He shrugged. “I kept my distance.”

Ryan blinked. “Wait_ you like her too?”

Eugene’s smile deepened, warm and certain. “Yeah. I do. I think she's really beautiful.”

From the bench, Lila gasped loudly enough to turn heads on the street. “Did he just_ Ryan, did you hear that? He likes me! He actually likes me!”

Ryan slapped a hand over his face. “Why me, Lord? Why me?”

But despite his complaints, a small grin tugged at his lips. Because for once, Lila had gotten exactly what she wanted.

Eugene walked up to Lila with that easy confidence that made her heart skip. His tall frame cast a faint shadow as he stopped right in front of her. He stretched out his hand with a smile so dazzling she swore her pizza money just evaporated from memory.

“Hi, I’m Eugene Wall,” he said warmly.

Lila blinked twice, shook his hand like it was made of gold, and plastered on her brightest smile. “L-Lila,” she stammered, suddenly shy, suddenly very aware of her messy ponytail.

Ryan, watching from the side, folded his arms and muttered under his breath, “Oh wow, look at her, she just downgraded her IQ by fifty percent. Next, she’ll forget her own surname.”

But Lila wasn’t paying him any attention. She was too lost in the way Eugene leaned in a little as they spoke, making her feel like she was the only girl on the planet. They laughed, exchanged little jokes, and the conversation flowed so smoothly that Ryan’s face darkened more with every passing second.

And then_ oh no_Eugene actually bent his head slightly, clearly about to kiss her.

Ryan’s eyes nearly popped. Not on my watch.

Just as Eugene started leaning in closer, Ryan suddenly materialized between them like a referee in a boxing match. He hooked an arm around Lila’s waist, yanked her up like a sack of potatoes, and dragged her away in one dramatic swoop.

“RYAN!” she squealed, flailing helplessly as he marched down the street with her in tow. “Put me down, you Neanderthal! People are watching!”

Ryan pinched her side mercilessly, his jaw tight. By the time Ryan stopped, he spun her around, his expression somewhere between furious big brother and sulky toddler.

“Oh, pardon me, my bad,” Ryan deadpanned, finally setting her down. He folded his arms dramatically, then he let out a sharp “tsk,” and glared down at her.

“What were you about to do? Huh? Kissing a stranger on the roadside like some cheap rom-com extra?”

“He wasn’t a stranger, his name is Eugene Wall!” she defended, trying to wriggle out of his iron grip. “And FYI, he was about to kiss me, not the other way around!”

Lila, still catching her breath, planted her fists on her hips. “A-and what about you? Didn’t you sleep with women the very same day you asked them out? Don’t give me that look, Ryan. Hypocrite!”

Ryan’s ears turned red. “That’s different!”

“Different how?” she shot back, stomping her foot like a spoiled princess who just lost her candy.

He pointed at himself with exaggerated pride. “Because I’m a man. And you’re a woman. That’s why.”

Lila gasped. “Oh, here we go,” she interrupted, throwing her hands in the air. “The ‘I’m a man, I can do whatever I want’ speech. Do you want me to kneel while you recite it? Maybe fetch a crown for your royal double standards? What century are you living in? 1820?!”

He groaned dramatically, rubbing his temples. “Lila, you don’t get it. I’m trying to protect you, okay? You’re not like those other girls. You need to have pride, don’t just throw yourself at the first guy with good hair and a car.”

“He doesn’t just have a car,” she snapped back, “he has dimples! Do you know how rare dimples are?!”

Ryan nearly choked. “Dimples?! Oh, forgive me, clearly dimples are worth your entire dignity.”

“Exactly!” she said triumphantly, as if she’d just won an Olympic medal.

Ryan tsked, turned away and started walking off like a sulky brat. “Unbelievable. My little sister is an idiot. I’m disowning you.”

“Good! Then maybe Eugene can adopt me,” she shouted after him.

“Fine!” he barked.

“Fine!” she echoed, sticking her tongue out.

But as she stood there watching him stomp off like a child denied candy, Lila couldn’t help but laugh. Because no matter how dramatic Ryan got, she knew one thing for sure: behind all that bossy nonsense, he was just hopelessly overprotective of her.