Lila's POV

I felt awful after that conversation with Pamela. Jealousy was eating me alive, and the worst part? I couldn’t even tell her to just back off. I couldn’t shout, “Ryan’s mine, I love him, so f#ck off!”

Even though every fiber of me wanted to. Because the truth is, I do. I really, really do.

Honestly, it was this whole arranged marriage thing that finally opened my eyes about Ryan. Before, I just saw him as Ryan, more like my brother than anything else. We’d shared a bed countless times, but all we ever did was play games, argue about nonsense, or wrestle until one of us gave up.

Nothing ever felt... different.

But now? Oh, something has definitely changed.

The moment he touches me, my body reacts like it’s not even mine. When he kissed me, I felt this wild rush inside, like some part of me had been asleep all along, and suddenly it woke up demanding more. And sometimes, when I’m all alone, I catch myself wondering what it would be like to actually be in the place of one of his flings. Crazy, right? Me, Lila, imagining Ryan like that. But the thought won’t leave.

But I dare not even mention such. He would use it against me for the rest of my life. That dude is really something, someone who still mocks me with bed wetting from seven years ago, Ugh, Ryan. Silly guy.

And lately, being around him makes me ridiculously insecure. He only has to lean a little too close, and suddenly I’m hyperaware of everything, his scent, his warmth, his voice. It’s like harassment, but the kind I secretly, don’t want to escape. Because it’s Ryan. My Ryan. How could I ever really push him away?

Take this morning, for example. He asked me for a massage, then pinned me against the wall and bit my earlobe of all things. My earlobe! And the worst part? That tiny move nearly undid me. I instantly felt wetness in my pants. Gush my throat immediately went dry, my knees almost buckled, and, God help me, I was dangerously close to kissing him right there. Instead, I blurted out “okay, fine” just to escape before my face betrayed me completely.

And as if that wasn’t enough, after breakfast he dragged me into his bedroom. He peeled off his shirt, threw himself face-down on the bed, and looked at me expectantly. “Massage me,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

If this had been before, I’d have laughed, shoved him, and maybe even given him a quick, sloppy massage just to annoy him. But now? Oh no. My heart pounded so hard it nearly leapt out of my chest. My hands shook just at the thought of touching his bare back. And if Ryan noticed? He’d never let me hear the end of it.

“God, please,” I whispered under my breath, “give me the strength not to.mesa things up, or I'll die of embarrassment.”

I managed to climb onto the bed, my heart pounding as I grabbed the few things I thought might make this whole massage ordeal look “professional.” A little bottle of lotion, a towel, and, because I panicked and grabbed the first thing in sight, some baby oil. (Don’t ask. I’m improvising here, okay?)

I perched at the edge of the mattress, staring at Ryan’s smooth, broad back. Honestly, this guy’s body should be illegal. Those abs, the cut of his waist, the way his muscles flexed even when he was just lying down, it was criminal. And that back? Lord have mercy. My jaw almost dropped. Did I just think Ryan was… sexy? Oh wow. Just wow.

I slapped a hand over my mouth before I accidentally said it out loud. Pull it together, Lila. He’s Ryan. Your annoying, smug, childhood frenemy Ryan. Not some hot model off a billboard.

Still, I started the massage with shaky hands, hoping he wouldn’t notice. My fingers glided across his skin, and oh God, why did it have to feel this good? I kept my mouth shut, terrified that if I opened it, my trembling voice would betray me.

But Ryan was silent too. No teasing, no sarcastic comments. Just quiet. Which was even weirder. My eyes, traitorous as ever, kept sneaking down toward his waist, and before I knew it, a scandalous memory flashed in my mind, the one where I accidentally walked in on him very busy with some random girl. My throat went dry instantly. I coughed, trying to shake the thought away, but my hands were practically shaking like I was holding a blender.

Then, suddenly, Ryan rolled over. He was now on his back, his gaze locking onto me like he could read every single thought racing in my head. He caught my trembling hands in his, his touch warm and steady, while mine felt like ice.

“Why are your hands shaking, Lila?” His voice was low, husky, and way too serious for Ryan.

I panicked, looked away, because those eyes of his, slightly glassy, oddly vulnerable, were too much. But then he did the unthinkable. He tugged me closer, and before I knew it, I stumbled right onto his chest, my palms flat against his warm skin.

We were so close now I could feel his breath brushing across my lips. My mind went blank. Words? What are words? I couldn’t remember a single one.

And then, slowly, achingly slow, Ryan leaned in. My heart slammed against my ribcage as his lips brushed mine, feather-light, tentative, like he was asking permission. I froze for a heartbeat, then my eyes fluttered shut, and I let him kiss me.

It was gentle at first, a whisper of a kiss that sent sparks dancing up my spine. His lips moved against mine in the softest rhythm, coaxing, teasing, making my stomach do somersaults. And when I finally kissed him back, his hand slid up to cradle my cheek, deepening it just enough to make my toes curl.

Every second felt like forever, sweet and dizzy, until I almost forgot to breathe.

Ryan’s lips brushed against mine so lightly, it almost felt like a mistake. But the heat that jolted through me said otherwise. His mouth lingered there, testing, tasting, like he was waiting for me to pull away.

But I didn’t.

My eyes fluttered shut, my trembling hands still trapped in his, and I could feel the thud of his heartbeat under my palms. His lips moved again, this time more certain, grazing mine in the softest rhythm, teasing, coaxing me to respond.

And oh God, I did.

I tilted my head ever so slightly, letting him deepen the kiss, and suddenly, the world just... melted. The walls, the bed, the morning sunlight peeking through the curtains, everything vanished. It was just him and me.

Ryan’s kiss was slow, maddeningly slow, like he was savoring every second. His lips were warm and sweet, and each movement felt like a secret being whispered against my mouth. My chest tightened as a little sigh escaped me, and he seized on it, smiling against my lips before pulling me closer.

I could taste the faint mint from his toothpaste, mixed with something that was just him, Ryan. My Ryan. The same boy who teased me about bedwetting, the same boy who stole my snacks, the same boy who was now kissing me like I was the only girl in the universe.

My fingers, traitorous as ever, slid up from his chest to his shoulders, feeling the solid lines of his body beneath me. His hand released mine just to cup the back of my head, his thumb brushing my cheek so gently it made my heart ache.

And when he finally pulled back, just barely, his forehead resting against mine, we were both breathless. His eyes were still glazed, his smile lopsided as he whispered, his voice rough and low.

“Lila... you have no idea what you do to me.”

My brain was still catching up with what just happened. Ryan. Kissed. Me. Like, full-on kissed me. My lips were tingling, my heart racing, and I wasn’t sure if I was breathing properly anymore.

And then_of course_he had to ruin the moment.

Ryan smirked, brushing his thumb lazily across my bottom lip as if he owned it now. “Wow,” he whispered, still so close I could feel his breath. “For someone who claims to only want to just be friends, you kiss suspiciously well, Mrs. ‘Friends Forever.’”

My jaw dropped. “Ryan!” I smacked his shoulder, my face blazing so hot I was pretty sure the sun was jealous.

He chuckled, clearly enjoying my embarrassment, and leaned back against the pillows, arms folded behind his head like he was king of the world. “Relax, Lila. I’m just saying, if this is what friendship feels like, I think I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life.”

I gawked at him, sputtering. “That was not_ I didn’t_ You_!”

Ryan tilted his head, eyes sparkling with pure mischief. “Speechless, huh? Admit it, you liked it.”

I snatched a pillow and threw it at him, but he caught it effortlessly, grinning like the devil himself. “Oh, I definitely got my answer. Your blush is brighter than a traffic light.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible!” I huffed, spinning around to grab the massage oil again just to avoid looking at him. My hands were still shaking, and I hated that he noticed.

Ryan, of course, leaned forward, his voice dropping just enough to send shivers down my spine. “Careful, Lila. If you keep running from me like this, I’ll just have to keep chasing you. And you know I always catch what I want.”

I froze. Did he mean that as a joke? Or… did he really mean it?

My heart pounded so loud I was afraid he could hear it.

Ryan was still grinning like he’d won some grand championship. “You know, for someone who claims I’m just a friend, you really didn’t hesitate back there.”

I whipped around, pointing a finger at him. “You ambushed me! That kiss does not count!”

He raised his brows, smug. “Doesn’t count? Lila, you melted like ice cream on a summer sidewalk. I think I deserve an award.”

“An award?” I scoffed, my cheeks burning. “For being a cocky, overgrown man-child? Sure, I’ll knit you a medal.”

He chuckled, leaning closer, his voice dropping into that dangerously teasing tone. “Careful, Mrs. West. The way you’re blushing tells me you actually like this overgrown man-child.”

I picked up the massage oil bottle and waved it threateningly. “Say one more word and I’ll pour this on your head.”

Ryan just laughed, lying back down and stretching his arms like a smug cat. “Fine, fine. But admit it, you like me. Just a little.”

I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they might get stuck, but my lips betrayed me, twitching at the corners. “You’re really something.”

“And yet…” he shot me a lazy, boyish grin that made my stomach flip. “…here you are, still massaging me.”

I huffed, but inside, I was melting all over again.

For a moment, the room fell quiet. His teasing smile softened, and when his eyes found mine again, there was no mischief, just something raw, something that made my breath hitch.

“Lila…” His voice was quieter now, low and sincere. “Do you ever wonder if maybe this_” he gestured vaguely between us “_was supposed to happen? That maybe we were pushed into this for a reason?”

I swallowed hard, my hands frozen on his arm.

“I know you think this marriage is just… a deal. Something forced. And maybe you’re right.” He exhaled, eyes searching mine like he was afraid of the answer. “But tonight, when I kissed you, it didn’t feel fake. Not to me.”

The teasing Ryan was gone. What sat in front of me now was a man who looked almost… fragile. Like he was finally admitting something he’d buried for too long.

My chest tightened. I wanted to say something, anything, but my heart was pounding too hard to let words out.

And Ryan, still watching me, whispered almost to himself, “Tell me I’m not the only one who feels this way.”

“I_ I” I was going to say something, something like ‘I don't understand’, or anything, until we both heard the door bell. That precious door bell that just saved my poor ass. I fell in love with whoever was at the door already.